Archive for June, 2008

im just trying to look out for you

Monday, June 30th, 2008

its amazing to me how much people produce themselves. im entering a theatre in my life in which everyone feels the need to put on a show; it all becomes an act. we all try to display & prove ourselves, as do some like to flaunt. we try to distinguish ourselves in costumes unlike our neighbors & peers in hopes that we are a performance. likewise, we feel vulnerable & desire for becoming something; expanding on our talents & knowledge of areas that we enjoy. why do we have to feel needed? why is it not satisfactory for everyone to simply wander. i respect people who are brave enough to do that. i admit, i have felt like i needed to accomplish something amazing in order for people to like me or want to be around me. & perhaps i still feel that way.

its funny, sometimes i feel weird looking at people that i have known for a long time; they become displaced from my memory & familiarity. as i watch, they start to become someone i know but have never seen before. perhaps its my sight which is changing. after all, i am in growth. maybe that is what scares us into believing we must struggle to become. becoming. it has multiple definitions but maybe its one in the same. as we work to become, we become becoming & maybe thats our real goal. maybe we all need to get to the point in which there is no end point. that is all; we transform into an eternal indecision.

1969

Friday, June 27th, 2008

i am so disappointed with now. i just looked through old photos of my parents & i never want to be old & i never want to have kids. now is so boring. i wish i could have lived back then when everything was cheaper & classier & more interesting & simple.

blue day

Tuesday, June 17th, 2008

we flew kites today.
rory’s birthday.
new red jeep…day.


rory, norfolk, virginia